You can’t love without getting hurt!
There is no doubt that when a relationship comes to an end, the one who did not want the relationship to end will feel hurt. Even during a relationship when we experience disappointment we may also feel hurt. At these times we should think how we can be more trusting, caring, loving and forgiving. Here are two examples of love and how to approach love. 

Khadijah, the first wife of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
Twice widowed, she had given up the idea of marrying again. However, she got to know Prophet Muhammad (before he was recognized as a prophet). Why did she change her mind about marriage – she observed his character and his honesty in dealing with her business. Although the age difference is disputed by some, she was significantly older than Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

25 years of happy marriage
This marriage lasted for 25 years. The Prophet (PBUH) was monogamous (faithful, no other women). Khadijah was also loyal to the Prophet and supported him in all aspects of life. Khadijah believed in him when no one else did. She accepted Islam when others rejected. She helped and comforted him when there was no one else to prepared to help him.

COMING TO TERMS WITH LOSS
There was once a great alim (man of learning, wise). He loved his wife so much but she passed away.  He was so sad at this loss that he locked himself away and refused to meet and talk with people.

A woman requested to see him on the basis that she wanted to ask him a question and that she must ask it directly. She waited and waited outside his door. The alim was informed of this and eventually permitted her to enter.

THE GREAT QUESTION
This is my question:  I have a neighbour from whom I borrowed some jewellery. I have been wearing it for quite some time now. This neighbour sent a person asking for the jewellery.  Should I give it back to her?

The alim replied: “Yes, you have to give it back to her.”

The woman replied: That jewellery was with me for a very long time. How can I give it?”

The alim replied: “In such a case, you should give it even more happily because it was out of her kindness that she allowed you to use it for such a long time.”

USE THIS WISE COUNSEL FOR YOUR SITUATION TOO
When the alim had said this, the woman replied: “May Allah have mercy on you. Why then are you so sad?  Allah had loaned you something and when He wished, He took it back. (Because) it belongs to Him.

REALIZATION
Upon hearing this, the alim realized his mistake and benefitted tremendously from this conversation.

THE LESSON OF THESE LIVES AND STORIES
Love is a very precious thing and should you meet someone who loves you – treat that love as your precious jewellery. Be grateful for the time you have had together. Cherish it at the time and continue to love even if for some reason one of you has departed either to someone else in this life or to the next world.

LOOK UPON LOVE IN THIS WAY 
Never regard love as something that hurts but something that is so wonderful when you have it. Love is just like a piece of valuable jewellery that a neighbour has lent you – be grateful for that time, cherish it at the time and cherish the memories.

Love is just like a piece of valuable jewellery that a neighbour has lent you – be grateful for that time, cherish it at the time and cherish the memories

WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS CONSTRUCTIVELY

I was feeling blue and was misty eyed as I went past a Madrasah (Muslim school), so I decided to write down every quote on the fences in the order they appear. By the time I had finished my tears had reduced.

The following quotes are on the fence facing the pathway of a Muslim school – the Madrasah Alkhairiah Alislamiah

1. Aspire to inspire.

2. Every child matters.

3. Character matters.

4. Engaging minds by inspiring hearts.

5. Small heroes master their enemies. Big heroes master themselves (Rumi).

6. The door of paradise is very wide. Don’t put an embargo on Allah’s Mercy. Leave it open, it is enough for everyone (Shaykh Muhammad Nazim Al-Haqqani).

7. Hearts find peace in the remembrance of God (The Holy Qur’an).

8. Do not consider any acts of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face (Prophet Muhammad).

Knowledge is the spirit that saves the heart from the death of ignorance (Kashfal-Mahjub by Ali bin Uthman Al-Huywiri).EMPEROR MOSQUE (BADSHAHI MASJID) LAHORE

9. Knowledge is the spirit that saves the heart from the death of ignorance (Kashfal-Mahjub by Ali bin Uthman Al-Huywiri).

Hearts find peace in the remembrance of God (The Holy Qur’an). Al-Ghaffar (الغفار) The Forgiving

My prayer – I hope you feel a lot better after reading this – it may not solve your problems but it does give an alternative perspective of how we should approach life and how we can come to terms with some of our worldly cares and responsibilities, and how to handle disappointments.

1. TIP 1 
If you really want to improve your speaking you need to think of speaking as a skill. Speak or record yourself saying the answer and then write it down. We speak and write differently, and it is a mistake to train yourself to speak in the same way as you write. If you record yourself you will be able to consider whether you said enough. In parts 1 and 3 of the IELTS test you need to aim for two or three sentences per answer.

Speaking should still be organized. There should be a structure to the answer. You need to use organization language such as Firstly, XXXXX. Secondly, XXXXX Lastly, XXX

Consider whether you speak too slowly or too rapidly? In Part 2 of the Speaking Module, a native speaker could speak about 250 words in two minutes. If you are speaking for less than 200 words, you may be on the slow side.

2. TIP 2 FOR PART 2. Part 2 of the speaking module is about speaking non-stop for about 2 minutes.  Practice Part 2 in your own language first. Part 2 is also known as the long turn. Can you speak well in your own language for two minutes – for some people that is difficult too.  You need to be able to speak non-stop for two minutes. Structure language is key for Part 2.

3. BREAK DOWN PART 2 into bite-sized chunks
In Part 2 you are given a card with a topic. Usually there are four points, so you should divide the talk into the four parts in the question. If you speak for about 30 seconds for each part – then you have got your 2 minutes.

4. See pictures when you are speaking.
Find a picture about an IELTS topic and describe what you see. In Part I of the IELTS exam you may be asked to talk about your life and your home town. If you have gone through lots of your own pictures you will have done some great preparation for the IELTS exam. When you are taking the exam remember these pictures.

5. TIP 5 – practice reading and speaking together.
After reading a passage, summarize what you have read.  Doing this improves thinking in English and articulation – how you put your English together.

6. Tip 6 – Memory development.
Many the speaking questions are about you and your life. Before the test you should refresh your memory concerning your past. Get out all the photographs you have and remember the important events of your life. Go over in your mind all the memories you have of events, people and places. Speak about all your personal memories.

Think of the helpful people in your life – your teachers, your relatives. Think about when you met them and how long you have known then. Think about why they are important and what makes them interesting. How did you benefit from them. Remember all the things you did together. Think of the activities and the conversations.

Think of the helpful people in your life – your teachers, your relatives

Think of the important events in your life. What happened – when, where, who, what. Who were the people you were with at that time.

Think of all the places you have been to in your home country and elsewhere. Think of the place and how you got there? Who did you go with. What did you do and how did you feel.

Think of all the things you own. How long have you owned each item? Was it a gift? Did you buy it – how did you get that money? What is the sentimental value?

7.  TIP 7 –
If you don’t know or are not sure then say so. This is a test of English and there may be some questions where you really don’t know or don’t have that experience. Then say so. Of course, explain why you don’t know or are not sure.

8.  Tip 8 – mirror, mirror on the wall
Speak in front of a mirror.  Use the mirror to help you make better eye contact. Eye contact is considered to be important.

9. TIP 9.
Write questions. Yes you think up some questions. The speaking module is all about thinking, and thinking up and answering your own questions will make you more aware of the Q and A process.

10. TIP 10 – practice higher standards.
Practice speaking for at least 3 to 4 minutes. Then repeat but do it in two minutes and aim for a more compact answer compared to the first one.

Be irresistible. 10 winning ways

1. YOUR BEAUTY
Use your Fitnah (beauty and overtures of allurement) to win your husband’s heart. All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with.  Use what beauty you have to win the heart of your husband.  At home dress up, wear the colurs and clothes he likes to see you in. Use makeup, perfume, jewellery – in short – do what it takes to be attractive to him. Earrings, bracelets and pretty dresses – wear the best for him.

2. HIS MOODS
Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. Welcome him when he comes home and make him feel good to be at home. Don’t start complaining or burdening him with problems as soon as he comes home. Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitlely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom – what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him!

3. Be like the women of jannah (paradise)
Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn (women of Jannah) and try to be like them. Imitate them. The Qur’an and Sunnah (the way of life for Muslims) describe the women of Jannah as having certain characteristics. For example, the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband.  Wear silk for your husband, use kohl around your eyes, and sing to your husband (or whisper sweet words).

4. Togetherness
Do things together or at least spend some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Sincerely appreciate him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and his opinions. Make suggestions, give advice and comfort him.  Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Don’t spend large amounts of his money without his permission.  Show care and concern for his relatives as hit is a sure way of securing a place in his heart.  Never object when he spends money on them – as this is a source of abundance and increase in life span.

5. THE FUN SIDE OF LIFE
Joke and play games with your husband. A man’s secret – they seek women who are light-hearted and have a good sense of humour.  Rasulullah SAW told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh. Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.

6. GRATEFULNESS
Be grateful to your husband. It’s a tough world and your husband works hard to provide for you, so don’t compare him to other men unless it is a favourable comment. Thank your husband continually for the nice things he does. Let him know you appreciate his efforts, not only by words but also actions.

7. YOUR MOODS
Control your moods as much as possible. Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Remain calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tact and powers of persuasion later to try to explain your point of view. Believe the best about him and not the worst. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up the mistakes of the past.  An argument is like a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple I am sorry even if it is not your fault. When you fight back – you are adding wood to the fire. What how sweetly an argument ends when you just say sincerely – Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.

8. PLEASURING YOUR HUSBAND
Always seek to please your husband for he is the key to jannah (paradise). Rasuhullah SAW taught that any woman who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, she shall enter jannah. Thus please him. Simple things like serving him the food he likes and eating together which fosters companionship.

9. LISTEN AND OBEY
Obeying your husband is fard (obligatory). Your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not involve any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Show respect to your husband by not revealing to others your private and confidential issues, or by complaining about him or discussing marital problems with those who cannot help you.

10. DUA (Prayers)
Pray to Allah SWT to make your marriage and relationship successful. Ask Allah SWT for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this dunya (this world) and continues on by the mercy of Allah SWT into jannah (paradise).  May Allah SWT give us the favour of changing what we can change (ourselves), patience with what we cannot change (such as our spouse), and the wisdom to understand the difference. Whatever truth is in it is from Allah and His Messenger, and whatever mistakes are from the shaytaan (the devil) and myself; And Allah and His Messenger are absolved from it.

Text credit: http://www.islamicthinking.info/post/4014699764/10-tips-on-how-to-be-a-successful-wife
pic credit  http://www.alitrah.info/product_info.php?cPath=102&products_id=2194&osCsid=77d8bd49cffe60aefc867097e3305cb3

Ask Allah SWT for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this dunya (this world) and continues on by the mercy of Allah SWT into jannah (paradise).

OTHER POSTINGS ON MARRIAGE

 http://abetoday.com/2012/04/06/married-heaven-for-muslims-10-secrets-to-ensure-a-lifetime-of-blissful-companionship/

QUESTION: Is the Qur’an contradicting science? The Qur’an says that Allah has put a seal upon the hearts of the Kaffar (non-believer) and they will not believe. However, science tells us today that the brain is responsible for understanding and believing and not the heart. 

Dr Zakir Nair’s answer

1. Allah has set a seal on the heart of the Kuffar

The Glorious Qur’an says:
“As to those who reject Faith it is the same to them
Whether thou warn them or do not warn them;
They will not believe.
“Allah hath set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing and on their eyes is a veil
Great is the penalty they incur.”
[Al-Qur'an 2:6-7]

2. The word qalb in Arabic means heart as well as intelligence.

The Arabic word qalb used in these verses means the heart. It also means intelligence. Thus the above verses also mean that Allah has put a seal on the intelligence of the kuffaars (unbelievers) and they will not understand and believe.

3. In the Arabic language heart is also used as a centre of understanding

In the Arabic language the word ‘heart’ is also used to connote one’s centre of understanding.

4. Several words used in English language whose literal meaning is different

Even in English language there are several words which are used to explain something, though the literal meaning of these words are different. Consider the following examples

a. Lunatic – Struck by the moon:

The word ‘lunatic’ literally means struck by the moon. Today people use the word lunatic for a person who is insane or mentally unstable. People very well know that a mad or a mentally unstable person is not struck by the moon. Yet even a medical doctor uses this word. This is normal in the evolution of a language.

b. Disaster – An evil star

The word ‘disaster’ literally means an evil star. Today the word disaster is used for a great or sudden misfortune or calamity. We know very well that a misfortune has nothing to do with an evil star.

c. Trivial – Three roads meet

The word ‘trivial’ literally means where three roads meet. Today the word ‘trivial’ is used for something of small nature or little importance. We know very well that if something is of small value it has nothing to do with where three roads meet.

d. Sunrise and Sunset

‘Sunrise’ literally means rising of the sun. Today when the word ‘sunrise’ is used most of the people know that the earth is rotating and is moving in relation to the sun. Most of us know that the sun does not rise during sunrise. However even an astronomer uses the word ‘sunrise’. Similarly we know that during sunset, the sun does not actually set.

5. In the English language heart is the centre of love and emotion

In the English language heart means an organ in the body which pumps blood. The same word heart is also used for the centre of thought, love and emotion. Today we know that brain is the centre of thought, love and emotion. Yet while expressing emotions a person is likely to say “I love you from the bottom of my heart”. Imagine a scientist telling his wife, “I love you from the bottom of my heart” and the wife replies, “Don’t you even know the basics of science, that the brain is responsible for the emotions and not the heart? In fact you should say I love you from the bottom of my brain.”

6. Arabs know that the word heart in Arabic is also used for centre of thought and understanding

No Arab will ever ask the question as to why Allah has sealed the hearts of the kafir because he knows that in this context it refers to the centre of thought, understanding and emotions.

SOURCE and credit:  Dr Zakir Naik 

Heart in Arabic is also used for centre of thought and understanding

MARVELOUS MYSTERY OF LOVE 
For a long time I have been dwelled in understanding this mystery.

FAHM O SHAOOR
Really love is beyond all the so-called fahm o shaoor. Fahm o shaoor means the realizing of wiseness in Urdu. It means the realization of wiseness or in this case a greater realization about love. Fahm o Shaoor means the way of understanding.

LOVE IS …
Love is so indescribable. It’s a feeling that you’ve come home. It’s this thing called love!

LOVING LARGE
It’s bigger than us, isn’t it?

TWO BECOME ONE – I BECOMES YOU
There comes a point (may be in everyone of us Life) when “I” vanishes totally. When all you think is in terms of “You”. Yes it’s continuous “Giving”.

TRANSFORMATION
Love is the strongest and most fulfilling emotion possible. It lets you share your goals, your desires, your experiences. It lets you share your Life with Someone. It lets you Be Yourself with someone who will always Support you. It lets you speak your innermost feelings to someone who Understands you. It lets you feel tenderness and warmth – a wholeness that avoids Loneliness.

UTTER COMPLETENESS
Love lets you feel Complete. Wow what an ideal paradise ♥

VALUABLE VALUES
Values do play an important role in love too. When we live in a society we are bound with some norms and values which definitely determine our mode of action. Love with Respect and Keeping your integrity at the highest height have an impact.

LIVING LOVE
Everyone wants to spend life time with ONE they love, but there comes some point when may be you are not able to spend the life with the one you love or may be s/he is already in a committed relationship, then all you can do is offer your best possible [wishes, blessings, love] but never drag them to cut their knots with their dear ones or responsibilities.

DANGEROUS LIAISONS
Don’t snatch happiness of others. Just give them freedom. As you only lose whatever you cling to.

NO SIDES
In response to the concept of one-sided love – Love is just Love, not one two three sided but If you start to feel rejected, devalued and unfulfilled then it’s all about perspectives.

HUGGING CACTUS
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it’s going to hurt.

POSSESSION
Again comes the thing of Possessing or holding. The solution is Freedom.True Love is the Ultimate Display and Test of both Detachment and Bonding, Strength and Vulnerability, Closeness and Letting Go and in that Each are able to step into the Fullness of who they are.

DO YOU WANT LOVE?
And in the end Iif you want Love, Offer Love without all plans and Conditions.

NO TESTS PERIOD
Never Test your beloved as it’s Insult of Love.

NOT ALL CAN TRULY LOVE
Love is never Enough and only Some blessed hearts can offer Love, Respect and Giving.

EGOLESS
Loving heart doesn’t have any Ego. As when you keep on feeding this so-called EGO, you have less Love to offer.

BLESSING
May all of you and yours find this mystery to the ultimate joy. May you never find any conflict when you come face to face with Love. Aameen.

PS
I am sure I can write million more words and Yet I will find all not enough, so Let the Love remains as it is. Who are me, you and We to dive into this Ocean when we don’t have enough skills for swimming in this “Aag Ka Darya” LoL

So Here a Cheers to all the crazyyyy ONES ♥

PPS
Aag Ka Darya – means river of fire, oceans of fire. In other words the ups and downs of life, the ebbs and flows, the highs and low – the unruly nature of life with all its vicissitudes.

Love is the strongest and most fulfilling emotion possible

THE BENEFITS OF BEING GRATEFUL
1. Grateful souls are closer to God.
Get closer to God when you are grateful. The soul that is always grateful lives in closer touch with God than those who never look to God in thankful acknowledgement. The mental attitude of gratitude draws the mind into closer touch with the source from which the blessings come.

2. The whole mind benefits from gratefulness.
Gratitude keeps you in close harmony with creative thought. Gratitude prevents you from falling into competitive thought. You might think why is competitive thought not as good as creative thought. Think about it – creative thought adds something new to the world, while competitive thought tries to take what is there. Competitive thought thinks the supply is limited.

THE KEY TO SUCCESS
3. There is a Law of Gratitude – and it is 100 per cent necessary to observe if you want to get the results you want.  Thus the definition of success is getting the results you want to see in your life.

THANKFUL PRAISE
4. How do we show the right gratitude? It should be in thankful praise to the Supreme. Draw nearer to God and he will draw nearer to you. This is what the Bible says.

STRONG AND CONSTANT GRATITUDE
5. Strong and constant gratitude leads on to strong and continuous movement of the things you want. Consider the gratitude attitude that Jesus took: “I thank Thee, Father, that Thou hearest me.” Gratitude keeps you connected with Power.

NOW AND IN THE FUTURE
6. Gratitude keeps you satisfied with the present and how things are plus getting more blessings in the future. Gratitude is about fixing your attention to the best and on the best that surrounds you. If you surround yourself with the best then you become the best.

Gratitude is about fixing your attention to the best and on the best that surrounds you. If you surround yourself with the best then you become the best. Pic – Urooj appreciating nature

WHAT CREATIVE POWER DOES
7. We all have Creative Power within us and it makes us into the image of that which we give our attention. We are a Thinking Scheme and thinking substance always takes the form of that which it thinks about.

WHERE IS THE GRATEFUL MIND?
8. The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best. When you are thinking of the best, the form or character of the best materializes and you will receive the best or the best that is possible at that time.

WAVES OF FAITH
9. Faith is born from gratitude. The grateful mind constantly expects good things and expectation becomes faith. A grateful mind expects good things. Expectation becomes faith.  Every wave of grateful thanksgiving increases faith.

HABIT OF GRATEFULNESS
10. Cultivate the habit of being grateful. Give thanks continuously. Everything has contributed to where you are today so include all things in your gratitude.

YES YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR CORRUPT POLITICIANS
William Wattles says: “Do not rage against corrupt politicians. If it were not for politicians we should fall into anarchy, and your opportunity would be greatly lessened.”

Wattles goes on to say:
“God has worked a long time and very patiently to bring us up to where we are in industry and government, and He is going right on with His work. There is not the least doubt that He will do away with plutocrats, trust magnates, captains of industry, and politicians as soon as they can be spared. In the meantime, behold they are all very good. Remember that they are all helping to arrange the lines of transmission along which your riches will come to you, and be grateful to them all. This will bring you into harmonious relations with the good in everything, and the good in everything will move toward you.”

Source of quotes:   http://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTekSOGR8.html

The greatest words and writing secrets by Virginia Woolf (Part 2)

Woolf is considered one of the greatest innovators in the English language.

1. POWER WORDS: “When I cannot see words curling like rings of smoke round me I am in darkness—I am nothing.”  Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie: In the beginning was the word says the Hebrew Bible – words are powerful – make sure your words work for you.

2. RIGHT WRITING: “The most extraordinary thing about writing is that when you’ve struck the right vein, tiredness goes. It must be an effort, thinking wrong.”  Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie: In the day of the office, in the day of the internet we are all writers – let us all study what it takes to be the greatest writer.

3. DIGESTING WORDS: “She read everything.”  Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie:  Will anyone ever say that about you. They used to say that about one of my grandmothers. When you read you are reading the writing of others. Imbibe their spirit and message in your being when you read and you will understand so much more.

4. AGAIN THE POWER OF WORDS: “Nothing has really happened unless it’s been described [in words].” Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie:  The Chinese have a proverb – a picture tells a 1,000 words but notice how all life is defined in words. Words define life. The beginning, the middle and the end are words. Helen Keller realized this too – that everything was defined by a word.

5. WE ARE ALL TEACHERS – “to teach without zest is a crime.”  Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie: We are all teachers and you should go through life being a teacher. They may not call you a teacher but teaching should be what you do best every day. What have you taught today? If nothing, find someone and teach something – even if you have to be teacher and student all wrapped up in one.

6. OUR CHOICE: “I do think all good and evil comes from words. I have to tune myself into a good temper with something musical, and I run to a book as a child to its mother.” Virginia Woolf, Congenial Spirits: The Selected Letters Of Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie: I have never been a fan of the idea that everything in our life is a choice but we do have some power of choice and one is the company we keep. When we need inspiration, we should choose our reading matter wisely.

7. STYLE MATTERS: “Style is a very simple matter; it is all rhythm. Once you get that, you can’t use the wrong words. … Now this is very profound, what rhythm is, and goes far deeper than any words. A sight, an emotion, creates this wave in the mind, long before it makes words to fit it.”  Virginia Woolf

Susan McKenzie: Develop your own style. Style is how you present your message and add life to your words. Style is the finished product – everything put together.

Source of quotes: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6765.Virginia_Woolf?page=5

Woolf is considered one of the greatest innovators in the English language. She is in this picture – can you guess?

The writing secrets of Virginia Woolf with comments by Susan McKenzie

1.  TREAT ALL WRITING AS AN ESSAY
A good essay must have this permanent quality about it; it must draw its curtain round us, but it must be a curtain that shuts us in not out. (Virginia Woolf).

SUSAN MCKENZIE: Treat all writing including business writing as a form of essay writing – where you have a beginning, a middle and a great ending.

2.  WORK OF ART:   Almost any biographer, if he respects facts, can give us much more than another fact to add to our collection. He can give us the creative fact; the fertile fact; the fact that suggests and engenders. (Virginia Woolf).

SUSAN MCKENZIE: The biographer is the writer of another person’s life. He takes the facts and creates a new gloss and angle on the story – we get to see so much more. Do that with your writing too. You can create anew when you rewrite.

3. YOUR WRITING DEFINES YOU:  Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works. (Virginia Woolf).

SUSAN MCKENZIE: You are your writing. You are your writing so make sure it reflects the best of you.

4. FACT AND FICTION: Fiction is like a spider’s web, attached ever so slightly perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners. Often the attachment is scarcely perceptible. (Virginia Woolf).

SUSAN MCKENZIE: Actually we get a lot of idioms and examples from great literature and we can use these to give examples. Think the hare and the tortoise. The lessons from fiction can have an impact on the real world. Also many writers draw upon real life when writing their fiction. Think of the adage – Fact is stranger than fiction. Both should be considered and used as a tool when appropriate.

5. Language is wine upon the lips. (Viringia Woolf)
Susan McKenzie: Wine for millions of people has a sweet taste, a beautiful taste. The language that comes out of our mouths should have a beauty to it. We cannot be truly beautiful unless we taste beauty as we speak. I wonder how many people consciously try to only let beauty come from their lips? Do it more – it is beautiful.

6. Masterpieces are not single and solitary births; they are the outcome of many years of thinking in common, of thinking by the body of the people, so that the experience of the mass is behind the single voice. (Virginia Woolf).
Susan McKenzie: Consider learning as a building up process – Rome was not built in a day – is a famous adage that anything great takes time to build. Another adage is Practice Makes Perfect – and again requires daily or regular practice. In other words as Virgina Woolf says – masterpieces are the outcome of many years – thinking, doing, creating, honing, refining, reworking and thinking.

7. We write, not with the fingers, but with the whole person. The nerve which controls the pen winds itself about every fibre of our being, threads the heart, pierces the liver.” Virginia Woolf,Orlando, A Biography.

SUSAN MCKENZIE: Virginia is so right – we write with our whole being. Make sure you realize that and consciously put your whole being into all your writing – and your writing will be so much more lively, exciting, polished and hitting the spot of the reader.

SOURCE OF QUOTES: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/v/virginia_woolf.html#BUvmGwFYOrrls1Tv.99 and http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6765.Virginia_Woolf

Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works. (Virginia Woolf)

EFFECTIVE WRITING IS A LEARNABLE SKILL

THE FACTS OF THE BUSINESS WORLD
Think about it – a significant part of your job consists of communicating with others. This communication will be both speaking and writing. Email, letters, memos, proposals, office materials, promotional copy and a wide range of other documents.  Here are 13 tips to improve your writing impact.

1. Brief is best
Concise is what it is all about. You have heard how cover letters of resumes should be limited to one page. You should embrace the spirit of this rule with all your writing – keep it successfully short (KISS). Get to your point quickly, make your pitch and finish.

2. Ditch jargon
This applies even if you are writing to people in the same industry. Jargon is usually the specialized language used by people in the same industry or profession. Jargon can also mean language that is long-winded or has difficult words. If you think someone’s writing is full of jargon, this means you think it could have been written more simply and in a sharper way.

3. Check, Check, check again
I am always amazed at how many typos I make when I first write. All my writing is checked and checked again. Even if you think you are one of the world’s best writers, you should still check again. People judge and will think there is something wrong with your English when the only thing wrong is that you did not check enough. You should check again immediately after writing but you should build in time where you can come back later and check again.

4. TONE TUNE UP
After checking for typos, you should read again and consider tone. There is what you want to say and then there is how (tone) you want to say it or should say it before you hit the send button.

5. NAMES AND TITLES
Don’t get past the hurdles of typos and tone to fall and fail at names, genders and titles. Find out names and double check. This is an area of sensitivity. For example, I am Miss Susan McKenzie not Mr S Mackenzie. Notice my family name is Mc with then a capital K. When people lower case the K I feel it. When you add an ‘a’  you have not taken the time or the care to spell it correctly. I may still do business with you but I am not totally happy.

6. GENDER NEW ACCEPTABLE GRAMMAR
He/She is sometimes too long-winded and many women get hot under the collar when they see words such as ‘he’ but she is the reader. The words ‘They’ and ‘their’ are plural pronouns (words used instead of nouns) but are becoming acceptable gender-neutral singular pronouns. This is where people power triumphs over crusty grammar rules.

He/She is sometimes too long-winded and many women get hot under the collar when they see words such as ‘he’ but she is the reader

7. Developing templates
Save all your letters, emails, memos and other documents where you feel you have written well. You can then use them as the basis for future writing. However, do make sure you have removed the earlier information that was specific to the earlier recipient. If you don’t then this idea will not work for you. Only do this if you are the type of person who carefully removes the specific information from the earlier communication.

8. Professional yes, but not overly formal in day to day emails.
These days not all business communication is totally formal, especially where you have long-standing business connections and are using email. These emails may be more conversational. However, informal does not mean unprofessional. Racy jokes would be an example of going over the line to unprofessional.

9. Who, what, when, where, why and how!
Essay writers and journalists are encouraged to consider the five w’s topped with a how when writing. This formula  also works in a lot of business writing.

10.Powerful Purpose
Business communication is about achieving a purpose – so make it clear as to what the reader is expected to do and by when.

11. NO MORE THAN TWO OPTIONS
Ironically giving too many choices may confuse and lead to indecisiveness. Choose the best two options and only offer more if those two are rejected. This applies from product and service offerings to setting up a meeting.

12. BENEFITS PARADIGM
Think benefits. Demonstrate how this will make life easier, more efficient and more successful for the reader.

13. BACK TO THE STRUCTURE
One last check – have you put key words into your writing? Put key words and ideas at the beginning or end of a sentence. Also state the main idea of a paragraph in the first sentence. It is called the topic sentence.

Four phrases that help you communicate more effectively – with these four phrases you will be a savvy communicator

You can reply to anything with these four phrases

1. That’s interesting – tell me more.

2. That’s interesting – why would you say that?

3. That’s interesting – why would you do that?

4. That’s interesting – why would you ask that?

Interesting communication tips

Dan O’Connor says you can use these four responses in all situations.

These four phrases work in both the business and personal world.

EMPOWERING WORDS
Keeping a power phrase list helps you to improve your word power and your word effectiveness. Some words and phrases are not effective and should be put on a danger list.

POWER WORDS THAT WORK IF YOU SAY THEM SINCERELY

1. I AM PROUD OF YOU

2. What do you think?

3. Will you please.

4. Thank you.

5. Using the other’s persons name

USING THE WORD BECAUSE CAN INCREASE YOUR REQUEST SUCCESS RATE

CREATE A MIRACLE WITH YOUR LANGUAGE

The miracle of the short word

There is no law that says you have to use complicated, long and big words.

Short words can be as good as or even more effective than big words. Short words can have a greater impact.  Short words are the words we have known from the time we have been born (started learning English) and thus are closer to our hearts. Words that touch the heart have a great impact.

WHY WE NEED TO LEARN BIGGER WORDS

The only reason you need to learn bigger words is because sometimes other people use them, so you need to know what they are saying. Also sometimes you might want to vary your language and then you can draw upon them. When you are communicating, small words are just as good and often are even better and more effective. The type of words book authors use are often not the most effective for the business world. In the business world being concise is the favored method of communication and small words are the more concise form of English too. Concise means being brief and to the point.

SUPER SOUND

When we read we are usually sounding out the words in our heads and when we speak we are making sounds in the form of words. Small words have more effect on our brains and the brains of others because they are shorter and are easier to be processed by our minds.

If a longer word is perfect – use it but make small words the main focus of your speech.

People will follow more easily what you have to say.  It will sound good to them and that is what effective communication is all about.  Many of the most profound proverbs are expressed in simple words. Only use big words in business writing and conversation when they express a meaning that no other word can. Thus two tips to use

1. Always use a small word, and only use a big word when a small word is not available to express the idea you want to express.

2. Express first. Write to express first, never to merely impress. Ironically if you write to express, you will leave a clear impression.

   

   Words are powerful says Dan O'Connor, so make sure you use the most power-packed words

FIT FOR A KING
Fit for an Emperor, Fit for a King, Fit for a Queen, Fit for a Princess, Fit for a Prince are all expressions that mean that you are making something so good that a member of the royal family would appreciate. Emperors and Kings are associated with the richest, most opulent living and the highest,wisest thinking as they think for a land, nation and people. We can think of the wisdom of King Solomon, the persistence of King Robert the Bruce, the quick-thinking of King Charles II and the never-say-die daring of Queen Scheherazade.

Charles, Robert and Scheherazade
King Robert the Bruce: http://abetoday.com/2012/01/01/7-lessons-from-a-spider/
Queen Scheherazade: http://abetoday.com/2010/07/30/scheherazade-success/
King Charles: http://abetoday.com/2011/02/20/lessons-of-nature-blessing-learn-from-the-grass-the-acorn-and-the-oak-say-tagore-tayyiba-iram-and-susan-mckenzie/

SOWING SUCCESS
The seed and the acorn represent that small things can lead on to great things. Our good values are our seeds and can bring success.  If we plant seeds of honesty then goodness grows. Here is a story of an emperor who wanted to see what his subjects could grow from the seeds he gave them. The greatest subject would inherit the kingdom and become emperor.

THE ENLIGHTENED EMPEROR’S NEW SEED
The emperor was getting on in years and told the people: “It is time for me to name a successor.” The great emperor wanted the land to be ruled by someone as good and wise as him.

LOOKING FURTHER AFIELD
He wanted to consider everyone in the kingdom so he got all the young people of the empire together. “It is time for me to make way for a new emperor and I have decided to choose one of you.” The court was shocked. The emperor explained how he would make his choice:  “Each one of you will receive a seed today. One very special seed. I want you to plant it, water it and come back here in one year’s time with what you have grown. I will judge the plants you bring and the cultivator of the one I choose will be the new emperor.”

One boy received his seed. He returned home and excitedly told his mother about the task the emperor had set. His mother helped him to get a pot and good soil. He planted the seed and watered it carefully.  Daily he would water it and hover over it to see if the seed was sprouting. After about three weeks other young people started talking about how their seeds were beginning to grow. However, this boy’s seed was not sprouting.

Weeks and weeks went by but still nothing. Feelings of failure overwhelmed him – all the gamut of emotions from disappointment to desperation engulfed his thinking process.  Had he killed his seed he wondered?

LOOKING AROUND
Everyone else had plants as big as trees and he had nothing. He never lost hope and hoped that perhaps his seed was a late developer.

JUDGMENT DAY
One year had now passed and the day of reckoning was about to take place. All the youths in the empire brought their plants to the emperor. The boy thought there was no point going with an empty pot. His mother persuaded him that he should. When he arrived the palace was awash with flowery plants.  Many people laughed at him but a few felt sorry for him and said: “Nice try.”

FEAR OF FAILURE
The emperor praised the great plants, trees and flowers and then he saw the boy at the back of the throne room with his empty pot. He summoned the terrified boy who wondered – “Will I be executed?”

NEW EMPEROR
“Behold your new emperor,” announced the emperor. Gasps of amazement went around the palatial palace. What? How? Why?  More gasps.

REVEALS ALL
The emperor explained. One year ago I gave everyone a seed. I told you to take that seed, plant it, water it and  bring it back to me. Every seed I gave was a bolied seed. These seeds will never grow. Not one.  All of you except this boy have brought me trees, plants and flowers.  How can that be?  You must have added your own seed. Only this boy had the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with the seed that I gave him.  He is the most honest among you. Thus he is the one worthy to be the new emperor.

LESSONS
The Prophet taught, “Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur (wickedness) leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar.” [Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 8:116]

Source:  http://www.islamcan.com/islamic-stories/the-emperor-and-the-seed.shtml

When everyone else is doing wrong, I encourage you to do right. God is on
His throne watching the righteous and the unrighteous. God is not a
rewarder of blessings to those who mislead others and use deceit for their
own professional or personal gain. The Lord is an upright and righteous
Judge and will never forsake those who do right in the midst of evil. God
promises that He will pour out His blessings so much so that we will not
have enough room to receive it if we walk according to His statutes and
follow His laws. (Psalm 34:11-17) (2 Timothy 4:5-8) (2 Samuel 22:21-25)

Never get discouraged when you see others doing wrong and still seem to go
unpunished for their actions. There is a season in a person’s life when
Sin seems pleasurable, but never listen to the enemy’s lies when he tells
you, “Everyone’s doing it”. The end of that person’s life is sure to lead
to destruction. I encourage you to do that which is right in the eyes of
God because your reward will be one that lasts not for a season, but for
Eternity. (Hebrews 11:24-27) (James 1:13-17) (Matthew 25:21)

Psalm 7:8-9 “The Lord shall judge the peoples; Judge me, O Lord, according
to my righteousness, And according to my integrity within me. Oh, let the
wickedness of the wicked come to an end, But establish the just; For the
righteous God tests the hearts and minds.”

Proverbs 10:6-9 “Blessings are on the head of the righteous, But violence
covers the mouth of the wicked. The memory of the righteous is blessed,
But the name of the wicked will rot. The wise in heart will receive
commands, But a prating fool will fall. He who walks with integrity walks
securely, But he who perverts his ways will become known.”

Psalm 18:20-24 “The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me. For I have
kept the ways of the Lord, And have not wickedly departed from my God. For
all His judgments were before me, And I did not put away His statutes from
me. I was also blameless before Him, And I kept myself from my iniquity.
Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in His sight.”

Proverbs 11:3-6 “The integrity of the upright will guide them, But the
perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them. Riches do not profit in the
day of wrath, But righteousness delivers from death. The righteousness of
the blameless will direct his way aright, But the wicked will fall by his
own wickedness. The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, But
the unfaithful will be caught by their lust.”

All scriptures can be found in the New King James Version

SOURCE:  http://www.godswork.org/emailmessage224.htm

King Solomon was a wise ruler. We all need to make wise, honest decisions